


there's no crying in rogue school

by bisexualtelepath



Series: Irregularity: A D&D Group Chat AU [6]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work, The Irregulars - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Bree is nabbed, Kenna is a rogue, this was stupid as hell lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 11:24:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16136225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualtelepath/pseuds/bisexualtelepath
Summary: [October 1, 2018 2:43 PM]Dragonborn Bitch: It’s time motherfuckersDragonborn Bitch: Imma be practicing for my stealth and espionage midtermDragonborn Bitch: So if all goes well, none of you will see me and I will steal your thingsRanger Danger: Um





	there's no crying in rogue school

[October 1, 2018 2:43 PM]

**Dragonborn Bitch:** It’s time motherfuckers

**Dragonborn Bitch:** Imma be practicing for my stealth and espionage midterm

**Dragonborn Bitch:** So if all goes well, none of you will see me and I will steal your things

**Ranger Danger:** Um

**Easy Bree-zy:** can we set up like, rules for this?

**Papa:** Bahamut protect us

**Dragonborn Bitch:** I will consider your preferences but will make no promises

**Bongo Bastard:** You’re so good at sneaking tho! You don’t need to practice!!

**Johny Johny:** ^^^

**Dragonborn Bitch:** You know thats not gonna get you off the hook right

**Johny Johny:** Can’t blame us for trying

**Easy Bree-zy:** no stealing anything valuable (wallets, phones, holy symbols, etc.), no purposefully causing physical or emotional harm, no scaring people in public, and you have to give back whatever you nab

**Ranger Danger:** How long is this gonna last? 

**Dragonborn Bitch:** A couple days maybe

**Dragonborn Bitch:** I’ll consider those terms

**Papa:** Can I opt out of this please

**Dragonborn Bitch:** Sure, if you want to be my target for my mock assassination project instead

**Bongo Bastard:** The spy department scares me

**Ranger Danger:** That isn’t what it’s called and you know it

**Easy Bree-zy:** What happens if we catch you in the act?

**Dragonborn Bitch:** You wont

**Johny Johny:** ASDFGKHGJ

**Bongo Bastard:** Oh No

**Dragonborn Bitch** _ changed their nickname to  _ **G0neR0gue**

**G0neR0gue:** Game on

[4:26]

**Papa:** WE SAID NOTHING VALUABLE KENNA I NEED MY KEYS

**G0neR0gue:** Didnt take your keys

**Papa:** My whole keychain is gone?? Did someone else steal my keys???

**G0neR0gue:** Check your wallet

**Ranger Danger:** Holy shit

**Papa:** That is really impressive actually

**Easy Bree-zy:** Kenna you terrify me

**G0neR0gue:** Good

[5:01 PM]

**Bongo Bastard:** I kinda miss having Kenna around

**Johny Johny:** Sometimes I can still hear her voice

**Easy Bree-zy:** I mean same but like

**Easy Bree-zy:** there isn’t that much of a difference

**Johny Johny:** She isn’t even here to complete the meme

**Ranger Danger:** Tragic

**Johny Johny:** :(

**G0neR0gue:** Im still in the gc it just wasnt funny

**Johny Johny:** Aww

**Bongo Bastard:** ... I love you too

**Johny Johny:** BTW Kenna did you take my healing studies notebook? Because I need that?

**G0neR0gue:** Its in Orias’s backpack

**Johny Johny:** ??? OKAY????!?!?

[5:16 PM]

**Papa:** Why did Gareth just come into my classroom and take a book from my bag

**Papa:** It’s the middle of a lecture

**Easy Bree-zy:** Kenna had to do it to em

**Ranger Danger:** It was his book

**Bongo Bastard:** Read up dad cmon 

**Papa:** ...

**Papa:** ...okay.

[5:47 PM]

**Easy Bree-zy:** do y’all wanna get dinner at like 6:30ish?

**Johny Johny:** I have work get me ice cream though!!

**Papa:** Is being all in the same place a good idea? Should we even be sharing our locations?

**Easy Bree-zy:** ..we live together

**Papa:** Oh yeah

**Ranger Danger:** I can come around 7, I need to walk Ookami

**Bongo Bastard:** I can’t find my sheet music and idk if it’s because Kenna stole it or because I’m a mess

**Ranger Danger:** She shot my own hair ties (WHICH I KEEP ON MY WRIST) at me a few minutes ago before disappearing into the shadows 

**Ranger Danger:** So unless your home

**Bongo Bastard:** WHERE IS MY MUSIC D:

**Papa:** Where did you see it last?

**G0neR0gue:** I put them in Gerald’s binder also that was 2 hours ago I thought youd found it by now

**G0neR0gue:** How stupid of me

**Bongo Bastard:** You……. Contaminated them

**Easy Bree-zy:** Lol

[7:08 PM]

**Papa:** Kenna did you just steal the plate I set down on the table

**Ranger Danger:** Fucking hell

**Easy Bree-zy** _ sent an image to  _ **The Irregulars**

**Easy Bree-zy:** lads I’ve been nabbed

**Ranger Danger:** BREE

**Papa:** SHE WAS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND ME WHAT

**Bongo Bastard:** Does this mean I have my own room now

**G0neR0gue:** Fuck I shouldve taken your phone that was stupid

**Papa:** WE SAID NOTHING VALUABLE KENNA

**Easy Bree-zy:** if I die none of you speak at my funeral

**Easy Bree-zy:** you know too much

**Ranger Danger:** This is getting ridiculous

**Ranger Danger:** I love it

**G0neR0gue:** I think I might end this early yall are… too easy

**Bongo Bastard:** Rude but also valid

**Papa:** Wait Bree, tell us where you are!

**Easy Bree-zy:** p sure she’d actually kill me but Socks is here too

**G0neR0gue:** I would yes

**Papa:** ...You  mean Suurik?

**Ranger Danger:** That’s what she said

**Bongo Bastard:** Who’s Suurik?

**Ranger Danger:** Socks

**Bongo Bastard:** Is her name not Socks?

**G0neR0gue:** Who names their kid socks?

**Bongo Bastard:** ...dwarves?

**Easy Bree-zy:** I’m not sure if that’s funny or racist

**Easy Bree-zy:** let’s just say not to say it again

**Papa:** ^

**Bongo Bastard:** Yeah that;s probably fair

**Papa:** So are we just… ending this?

**Bongo Bastard:** I would love that please

**Ranger Danger:** I mean, logistically you can’t do much better than kidnapping

**Ranger Danger:** In the middle of a dining hall no less

**G0neR0gue:** UGH

**G0neR0gue:** Fine

**Bongo Bastards:** !!!!!

**Papa:** The gods have taken mercy in our darkest hour

**Easy Bree-zy:** so can you take these handcuffs off or

**G0neR0gue:** And now for a complete list of your shit I stole or “misplaced”

**Ranger Danger:** Fuck yeah

**Papa:** HANDCUFFS?

**G0neR0gue:**  Orias’ keys, a sticker from Bree’s laptop, Bree’s dunkin doughnuts coupon, Laz’s music, Gareth’s notebook and pencil case, Laz’s stupid hat, Althaea’s hairties, Althaea’s jacket from the back of her chair, Orias’s holy symbol before immediately putting it back because I don’t actually want to die, several fries from Gareth’s lunch, Bree’s anklet, Orias’ dinner, Althaea’s cutlery, and Bree

**G0neR0gue:** Tada

**Ranger Danger:** What about Socks?

**G0neR0gue:** What about her

**Papa:** This says just “our” stuff? Did you steal from other people??

**Papa:** THAT’S ILLEGAL KENNA

**G0neR0gue:** Well you see the thing is

**G0neR0gue** _ has muted the chat. _

**Easy Bree-zy:** actually I don’t wanna know

**Bongo Bastard:** ^^

**Ranger Danger:** ^^^


End file.
